The stories we tell ourselves seep into our subconscious and affect our self-esteem. It’s so important to be mindful of the way in which we speak to ourselves, even if it’s just in our own heads. Because most of us have an inner critic, it is especially important to understand the difference between shame and guilt. Shame is the belief that we are inherently flawed because we’ve done something we feel bad about. If we internalize shame, we feel bad about our sense of self, our characteristics, and who we are as a person. Shame does not help us grow.
Guilt is knowing that we are an inherently good person who did something we feel badly about. If we feel guilt, we recognize that we messed up and need to potentially adjust our future behavior but we are trying our best and aren’t perfect and that’s ok. Guilt can be a helpful motivator if used in a healthy way.
Next time you feel your inner critic starting to whisper in your ear, ask yourself-
are you feeling like you’re an awful person or a person who did something awful? It’s important to use the healthiest language possible when we are talking to ourselves.